Wow, I expected to get back to this well before now. Life has been shall we say interesting the last week or so. Way too much drama from people that must live for it, but to me it just makes it harder to manage. Maybe that is the issue with so many people and depression.... So many people out there live for drama in their lives that if it isn't happening right now, then they must create it. For the rest of us it just gets depressing to be around them, but try and get away.... Anyway, for today the drama is over, I am sure it will start up again very soon, but I am avoiding that group of people for the moment.
Otherwise it has been mostly business as usual. I am feel a bit better but part of the swings I guess. When things get really bad I try to remind myself that it will get better. It usually helps. I am a bit afraid when that doesn't help or when the better doesn't come in at least a week. But that is not worth discussing tonight.
I started this mainly just for me to journal in. So I will probably refer to things in my life an outsider will have no idea about. If anyone ever does find this blog and want to know about it, just ask I am willing to share. Otherwise, unless I feel like telling more of my story I will just refer to things and move on. If I do ever get a follower or two I may change that line of thinking, but until then...
So my niece had a baby shower this weekend. She is have a boy which is great for them, they will be awesome parents I know. I actually got up the courage (it was more like I needed to I think) go through the last box of Marcus' things. I gave her a few of the clothes and hats I loved on him, but didn't have that strong of a meaning, as well as several book, picture frames, and a rattle. It was very odd to go through them, but strangely freeing to hand them over. I guess it was more like what we would normally do with baby things that were out grown or not used. It has brought my boy to my thoughts way more than usual though. I am doing pretty good with it. It is definitely a sign of healing. She told me at the shower her son's middle name is going to be Alexander just like Marcus' is. Even though there were several reasons for them to choose that name I am honored that Marcus was one of the reasons. I was surprised at how touched I was. Healing is a good thing I guess....
